just two for today

mallorca [above] and spain [below]

return

im back...and have been overtaken by a calm and peaceful perspective.

a few select pictures to follow asap..well, once i can figure out how to download photos from my new [but not so much anymore] camera!

short short update

im currently in girona spain. this place is really cool: i can see why so many cyclists love it. we are staying in a building built in the 16th century in an apartment in that lance armstrongs pt lived in whenever lance was in town. we are heading to the mountains tomorrow to do some hiking, then heading to the coast for some sea kayaking before heading to barcelona thursday, where we depart for the us on saturday. so far this trip has been full, in every sense of the word: full body(i ate my way through morocco) and full spirit (la pause was a special place where i felt myself shedding some old skin). not to mention, the wealth of new experiences ive accumulated....camel ride, anyone!? i cant wait to upload photos when i get back on the 28th...onward ho!

whoa

I can't believe its been this long since I last posted.

I was in a car accident on sunday: it was not my fault and the other driver's insurance GEICO [lets hope the gecko is as good insurance as they claim to be..yeah?] is paying for the damages. My relatively new car is now not drivable for the unforeseen future...which, fortunately, is not as big of an annoyance as it could have been as I am leaving town tomorrow...for 18 days. I cant remember the last time I was gone for that long; I think it was India for 6 weeks during the summer of 2005. 

TC left church to come stand with me on the side of the road: I am SO THANKFUL to have such a beautiful spirit-filled friend.  She wisely suggested a glass of wine at Galaxy while we waited for the boys to get out of the sermon that we were pretty certain that we, now more than ever, needed to hear [and that we did, both of us have since listened to the podcast]. B2 was sweet enough to bring me home after we all, including my still distressed stomach, enjoyed a great dinner. It's a new routine for me, the sunday church crew, but I am really going to miss it and my friday am breakfast with TC.  I have lots to look forward to when I return home! 

But for now, I am putzing around my house making sure I've dotted all of my i's and crossed all of my t's; making sure I have everything I need, printing out all pertinent documents, checking and copying my workout schedule, eating the last of my fresh produce, master cleaning the litter box so kitty sitter #2 doesnt have too nasty of a job, portioning out snacks for the flights, acquiring reading materials, catching up on emails, notifying folks of my extended departure , calling my bank so they aren't alarmed when they see someone in MOROCCO trying to use my card, you know, just trip stuff.  

ITS AMAZING HOW QUICKLY ALL OF THE LITTLE THINGS ADD UP.

It sounds sick and I can't believe I am publicly posting this, but...

I haven't left yet and I'm sorta already looking forward to coming home.

Now, dont get me wrong. I am VERY EXCITED, VERY. But I also have a little bit of a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I emailed DW today and mentioned that I think its due to a [my] fear of loosing momentum..but then again, why should I be worried about momentum? My main goal is to be growing [physically stronger, mentally tougher and calmer, socially consistent] at a sustainable rate!! NOTHING POSITIVE, at least in my most recent recollection, has come from quick growth. Quick growth leads to acute disasters...but I guess, and I digress, through the my 'disasters' [breakups, injuries, decisions made due to ego] there have been positive lessons learned, new perspectives given, and new friendships formed. 

So I keep telling myself that this trip is WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW: It will be good for me to get out of this city and out of this comfortable little life I have here. 

Everything I hold near and dear will still be here when I return :)

and so I go...onward ho!

rain rain made my day

I woke up at 550 this morning...Well, thats the time I got out of bed; I had been tossing and turning since about 4, which is a COMPLETE reversal from my 'normal' [but OH SO NOT normal] sleeping pattern [sleep from 1030-midnight. get up for a little bit... restless until about 3 then out cold til 7]...UGH. NO BUENO. I needed the rest after yesterday. 

Still,  I got up, totally stoked for my ride [wait, did i just use the word 'stoked'? I did... I seem to be regressing back to undergrad language: Maybe I'm subconsciously preparing for my chemistry class at ACC starting next month?] and then realized that I didn't really want to deal with traffic first thing today, especially since I had such a short ride to do. There is something about a friday morning that makes me NOT want to dive into it head first, battling traffic and waiting at stop lights. A 1.5 hr ride can easily turn into 2 with lights. So I made a pot of coffee and set up my trusty trainer. I switched rear wheels, put on my shorts and shoes, and hopped on. Within FOUR minutes, I kid you not, I received a text from 'bama: "Where are we meeting at 7?" he asked. 

I picked up the phone immediately, told him that I'd change wheels, fill up a water bottle and meet him at his corner in 15 minutes. He mentioned something about rain. A slight slight chance. I told him it looked pretty clear out west from my place [since I live 7 stories up, I can see pretty far]. I rolled out my front door and felt the spit of it on my skin immediately... by the time we hit Lake Austin, the rain was falling steadily...It continued on and off, but mostly ON, for the duration of our easy 1.5 hr townie spin. 

The fun thing about this ride was not just the rain factor, which felt so so nice, and the trip talk [because we still have some loose ends to tie up]...but the fact that we BOTH were wearing our NEW WHITE SIDI SHOES!! It was a riot: I had no idea he got new kicks too! It was his first ride wearing his and he was very self conscious how white they were and was thus quite excited when the rain started to fall and his white shoes took on more of a greyish hue....Now, I must say, I am self conscious about the 'flash factor' of my shoes too but not so much that I was happy to be caught in the rain wearing them! I mean really, they are BRAND NEW!! I'd like them to stay pretty for as long as possible! I, slightly obsessively, took a towel to them when I got home...and yep, they still look brand new...

Now its time to go meet TC for breaky at the foodwhole: I still am having some stomach issues and frankly the thought of food right now is SO NOT appealing. Crap. 

Then I've got some errands to run, one of which involves the purchase of a camera for my trip [cross my fingers I can make a decision], the other involves the purchase of a new pair of running shoes. I've decided to take my current ones with me on the trip so it will be really nice to return to have a brand new [but worn in, sort of, because ive got 3 runs to do still before I go] pair of ds trainers! I am taking my friend 'whatcha talkin' 'bout willis' to Rogue to get him a new pair too... maybe I'll get a Maple sighting in too [Maple is his ADORABLE 2 week old daughter]. 

Oh, what a fun day!! rides and breaky and babies, oh my!

now I get it

I am TIRED.

Who would have thought that 'overload' workouts take a few days to really sink in...? It makes complete sense, really, but I haven't been thinking about it. It's been one day at a time. But after today, now I realize that although I need to take training one day at a time, I NEED TO KEEP THE BIG PICTURE in mind AT ALL TIMES.  I mean, really, I just kept going, adding little townie spins, a yoga class, NIA!, and other seemingly 'unloaded' movement because I felt so darn good during my workouts and I was recovering really quickly. Then, then, today I woke up and it, my body, especially my butt[?!], was like "BAM. You are not invincible"

[and again I find myself breaking my own rule: no blogging about specifics of training, but I promise, this post has a point beyond me ranting about my body]

My run this morning was HARD. I looked at the schedule last night and thought 'No problem. I've got this one in the bag... " but a HALF MILE into my WARM UP [which is downhill from my apartment to the lake, btw] I was already counting down how much further I had to go, never mind how much more I had to pick up the pace. 

S***.  

By mile 2 I wanted to slow down.

By mile 3 I wanted to quit.

By mile 3.5 I really wanted to quit...

But by the time I hit mile 4, I thought "I can do this, I'm on the backside of this workout now. DIG"

Of course it certainly did NOT help that the backside of my run was DIRECTLY INTO THE GUSTING 30-40 mile an hour winds [according to www.weather.com, anyhow]. And of course the second half of the run had to be faster than the first...yeah, I so did not plan that loop right, AT ALL. 

I finished. Barely. I shuffled home as my cooldown [now UPHILL] at a pace I am too embarrassed to post. 

I learned today that overload workouts take a few days to sink in. I learned today that although I seem to be recovering well and quickly, things can change, literally over night...and because of these things, I learned today that despite the fact that each workout is a discrete challenge and task, I need to keep the big picture in mind.

On a completely unrelated note:I am finding myself excited about things...and in no particular order, they are:

1. my solo sunrise ride tomorrow am wearing my NEW SHOES!! Yes they, in all of their ruby red iridescent glory, greatly increase my 'flash factor' but I think I'm ok with that. They are pretty hot... at least everyone at the shop thinks so...unless, of course, they were lying... And in that case, I bet they'll snicker when I walk in there wearing them...oh, they would never!

2. brunch with TC tomorrow, post ride, at the foodwhole: I find talking with her refreshing and encouraging. We haven't known each other long but we've fallen into a fast friendship....seriously, if i had a sister, I'd hope it was someone like her. 
3. buying a new little digital camera for my trip
4. my trip! to spain! and morocco!
5. my new riding buddy, KH. Lady, you've been putting the time in so GOOD LUCK this weekend at Eagleman! Rock it!
6. the sugar ant traps I purchased this morning.
[Lord, I hope they work. I woke up this morning, walked to the kitchen, and saw hundreds, literally, of ants crawling all over my trashbag. I followed the trail around my kitchen, down the hall, and to the steps leading up to my bedroom. GROSS. So there I was standing in the kitchen, fresh out of bed in my underware, killing ants. I realized it was a futile effort because more kept coming, plus those little suckers started biting me. SO GROSS. I didn't know what to do. I pulled out the lysol spray [EVIL, I KNOW... especially since I have a cat] and started spraying ALL OVER the baseboards and steps, and just about anywhere else I saw them. I wanted to drown those little suckers...pinche hormigas... so I've got a crazy as sin neighbor who thinks her other neighbors are the gestapo and now I have a sugar ant infestation AND I DONT EVEN HAVE ANY SUGAR IN MY HOUSE. UGH. I've been thinking maybe its time to move?]

I like having things to be excited about. It helps me to not sweat the small stuff and to keep the big picture in mind, at all times....and you know, I love taking pictures... especially big ones.

rock chalk

[from my dad's phone]

I know I have blogged about my mother's obsession with the Kansas Jayhawk basketball team... as if our seats at this years final four weren't proof enough, now we have today's trip to the WHITE HOUSE to meet the president.  Today, George Bush honored the Jayhawks. For those of you who were living under a rock in April, the Jayhawks are this years NCAA champions.  My family was invited to the celebration.  Politics aside, I am thrilled for my mom. She has been really down and out lately with a move to their new place last week [she didn't want to move, my dad did and he never says he 'wants' anything, so it was a BIG deal] and she really needed the excitement of this trip.  Of course, I have no doubt she cried. That makes the score: Jayhawks 3; weddings and grandbabies, 0. 

attn: admissions

its off, like off as in "its in the mail"

I was 'accepted' informally on April 6th, during a face-to-face meeting with my soon to be advisor... So the paperwork is just so things are 'official'.  Of course I am paranoid that I'll still get a 'rejection' letter, which, I'm pretty sure, would make me feel lower than the lowest low imaginable...but I'm trying to remain positive. I have crossed my "t's" and dotted my "i's" and am ready to be a student. Again.
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Spaceship Earth: The problem for the passengers is that there is no manual to identify all the parts, and no instructions on how to operate the spaceship. Richard Buckminster Fuller

I wanted to be an astronaut. The idea of going to space and looking down, seeing the ENTIRE WORLD-all of the systems at work, creating a unified, cohesive, operating whole- in the blink of an eye, captivated me. As a child, I liked assembling and constructing things. I wanted to know how and why things went together. I loved building model airplanes and battleships with my father and two younger brothers. I enjoyed taking each individual piece out of the package and assembling the model, piece-by-piece following the diagram directions. When you began, there was a pile of little plastic parts; However, little-by-little the airplane or battleship, took form, looking more like the image on the front of the package. Assembling the pieces composed the model; Enjoyment was found in combing parts to make a whole.

With my mother, I relished time spent baking oatmeal cookies in our kitchen. I excitedly pulled ingredients out of the pantry and refrigerator before impeccably measuring out the quantities of each, pouring them into the bowl of my great grandmother’s mix master. As discrete ingredients-flour, baking soda, sugar, eggs, butter, vanilla, oatmeal, cinnamon, and raisins- none were very appealing. But, when all of the ingredients were combined and 20 minutes of heat was added?! The resulting cookie was pure and utter deliciousness. Assembling ingredients composed the cookie; Enjoyment was found in combining parts to make a whole.

So whether it was building or baking, working with parts and pieces and learning about systems fascinated me. When the time to declare a major in college came along, I choose sociology. Studying people and social systems- how people interacted with others- was the perfect fit. I learned a lot about communication, psychology, and how social interactions amongst different groups shape society. When I finished school, I felt something had been left out of my education. Now that I understood the ‘flexible’ parts of the world, what about the ‘concrete’ parts? What about buildings? I wanted to know how the built environment affected human interactions; I wanted to study architecture.

A master’s degree in architecture was the next logical step. On a micro scale, architecture is 2x4’s, steel, and concrete, but on a macro scale, architecture is the framework in which we operate. The built environment affects how people feel which, in turn, affects how we interact with others. Thus, my decision to pursue architecture was absolutely a continuation of my sociology studies.

All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. William Shakespeare

Each new educational endeavor I’ve undertaken has built upon the pieces that came before; It is no surprise that while at UT, I felt there were more holes to be filled. I ‘got’ the systems of people; I was now ‘getting’ the systems of buildings; but I wanted to ‘get’ the human body itself. During 4.5 years of graduate study at UT, I devoured nutrition tomes. I wanted to learn how food affects us, on both a physiological and psychological level; I wanted to study nutrition.

As an athlete, I know it is important to fuel one’s body for performance but I also know that food is more than fuel for performance. Food is medicine and, when used appropriately, food can heal. The opposite is also true: Having been diagnosed with food allergies as an adult, I have experienced how food can harm. It is my personal experience with food in these capacities and my inherent curiosity and appreciation for ‘systems’ that led me to the decision to pursue a MS in Human Nutrition from Texas State.

Wisdom is your perspective on life, your sense of balance, your understanding of how the various parts and principles apply and relate to each other. It embraces judgment, discernment, comprehension. It is a gestalt or oneness, and integrated wholeness. Stephen R. Covey

With the knowledge that I will gain at Texas State, I hope to work with people in a counseling capacity. I do not know what specialty but have given consideration to working with people who are dealing with chronic conditions like arthritis, discrete illnesses like cancer, and mental illnesses with physical symptoms like anorexia, making sure their nutrition needs are met so that they are able to give their bodies and minds the best chance at health and recovery. It should be noted, I am considering combining the MS Human Nutrition degree with a MA in Health Psychology to have an even broader knowledge base of the physiological and psychological affects that nutrition plays in health and recovery. No matter which path I take, if my past is any indication, I am certain that the goal towards a greater understanding of the ‘wholeness’ of life will be attained and will be shared with fervor… with compassion...and with an understanding of what came before.