Seriously? You're gonna give me attitude about that paper cup?!

So, I woke up this morning and skipped down the stairs (oh yes, I skipped) and started boiling the water for my french press...because, well, making your own coffee at home saves money. In fact, if I spend approximately 3$ a day (2$ for coffee, 1$ for tip, because I AM NICE and considerate) on coffee out at CoffeeBean or Medici or heck, even theFoodWhole, thats 21$/week.

Let's do the calculations shall we?

21$/week x 4 weeks/month = 84$/month

84$/month x 12 months/year = 1,008$ a year on COFFEE.

Folks, thats ridiculous. Not to mention, all of the paper cups you waste, right?

So I made my coffee and started perusing the online papers and blogs I read. The Huffington Post, The New York Times, and countless "healthy living blogs" that consist of girls taking pictures of what they eat and talking about nutrition, exercise, and healthy living. Really, its fascinating.

Anyhow, so I drink my coffee then get dressed for a run. Yes, a RUN; a whole 25 minutes in fact. and I felt great. But thats not the point of this post. I go to the ATM on my way home from the run because I am going to the farmers market. Why? Because I like to eat local and sustainable whenever I can. Unfortunately today, pickin's were slim so I bought my injera from aster over at her ethiopian booth, and walked home...It's just too wasteful to drive my car 6 blocks to the market; Plus, no need to pollute, right?

I get home, eat, and shower. I shower using Dr. Bronner's magic almond soap: cruelty free, organic, vegan, you know the drill. No need to put all of those chemicals on my skin. I complete my grooming by slathering almond oil on my skin [again, no need for excess chemicals] and using my crystal deodorant [again, no need for excess chemicals!][.

Ok, I promise this post has a point.

I decide to leave the house to study today. I could've ridden my bike to Medici, but that would have necessitated changing my clothing, which would have been easy enough but would have also meant that I would've been making my laundry pile bigger. More laundry=more loads=more water=not good for the Earth, right?!

So yes, I drove.

I walked in. Found a table with my back towards the HUGEJASS window [this is a BIG deal, because I am the person that likes to sit in the back row of a room, in the aisle of a movie theater or airplane, or at the corner table in a restaurant with my back up against a wall]...Then I walk to the counter and ask for a decaf Americano in a PAPER cup.

Simple enough, right?

Can you see where this is going?

Oh thats right, the barista behind the counter snarled his lip incredibly unattractively and said "Is this to go?"

"No. I am staying here...but I prefer a paper cup."

"If you are staying here, it must be in a ceramic mug and if you have to leave we can put it in paper."

"I prefer a paper cup."

"Really? We are trying to cut down on waste."

[ok douche bag, thanks for implying that I am wasteful and don't care about pollution and trash] "Well, I understand that, but I prefer paper because drinking out of mugs in coffeeshops really freaks me out." [This place is clean enough, but that couch in the front window is enough to make me want to fold up inside of myself it looks like it is harboring so much fecalbacteria and 1000's of dustmites. OmG-d, am I blushing?] "Im sorry. I will reuse the paper cup. I won't throw it away." [Did I just apologize? What ever happened to customer service?! Isn't the customer always right?]

"Really? Ok."

He rang me up. I paid.

Then, instead of leaving him 1 DOLLAR, I left 25CENTS.

No need to waste a good paper dollar, right?

no such thing as a plateau

The past three weeks (never mind the last half year) have been full of ups and downs.

Lets just focus on one of each as they are the tipping points that affect my future, shall we?

First, the down (because I like to end on a high note):

August began with a ROYAL meltdown that resulted in me leaving this town for two weeks to go home to "get my shit together" as I like to remember. It worked and I came back refreshed and renewed and with both feet "in". My other half at the time, however, had one foot in but the other planted firmly in his office.

To make a long story short, after 6 months of not talking about where this was heading, I rocked the boat as I realized he's over it but sensed he wasn't sure how to go about getting out of it. SO I am doing my best to move on. I have no other option but to focus on the possibilities of the future. In doing that, I dont think about what I have lost from my past.

Funny how that works. I was the one to rock the boat, prompting a break up, and yet I am the one that feels rejected. I haven't ever gone through this before, a break-up. Well, let me clarify: I have dated a number of people, but never for very long, and never with someone so entrenched in my social circle, never with someone whom I loved truly, never with someone whom I saw myself marrying, and never with someone with whom we shared kitchen appliances [the fabulous hotel waffle maker] and a fire-engine red le creuset baking dish.

My cat is still nearly as despondent as I was last week (I am doing much better this week: time does heal...or at least, right now I am having a good morning). It is so sad and makes me cry, almost every day. He sits at the door and waits for him to come home at night. Then, we he realizes that I am going to bed, he sits at the top of the stairs. Waiting. And waiting. For his pal that never comes over any more.

One day, I hope to look back on and be thankful that it ended, that he saved me to be some other man's wife and not his own, despite what he says about wanting to be married.

He didn't want it with me.

He did at one point, but somewhere along the way changed his mind, couldn't pull the trigger, can't figure out why and doesn't want to go to therapy to figure it out.

I know that I will, at the least, come out of this a better woman as I am seeking council.

I refuse to carry baggage into my next relationship.

I am doing this for me. And my future husband. Whoever he is.

And now the up! (well, there might be two or three or four)

I got accepted into the dietetic internship! This means that my life will be absolutely nuts come august but that once I finish, I will be on my way to be a legit RD. Still working through what direction I will go but I do know that I would love to work for WHOLEFOODS. They currently have one dietitian that I have met, and I am really hoping to get my other foot in the door, somehow. Let's pray for that, shall we?

I may be going to KENYA this summer for two weeks with ComfortTheChildren. Still waiting to hear back from Zane and still trying to work out my summer school schedule.

The Jayhawks are still ranked numero uno and I am headed back to KC for the big12 tournament in two weeks...after a trip to...

NEW ORLEANS! To visit a girlfriend who is going through a divorce. Now that should put my situation of the difficulty of separating my TWO fun and pretty kitchen tools into perspective, no?

know its been awhile

but life justs gets in the way of blogging sometimes.
a lot has changed. A LOT.

i will update this evening.

a blog-novella will be posted.